The
world at large seems not to understand a category of humans called
teenagers. Their age grade have been labeled as the most confused, are
said to be naive and are being controlled by hormonal changes. During this
period, the world looks up at them, judges and defines them for who
they'll turn out to become in future based on the way they behave, talk and reason
as teenagers.
At this age rangeof 13 to 19, most teenagers feel pressured by their parents and by the society at large who try to mold them to behave in a certain way tagged 'responsible'. Seeming abnormal to these young adults, they will most likely behave contrary to the society's expectations because they have a mind of their own whose reasoning needs to be heard. They crave to make their views heard and with importance attached to it, because they are no longer kids.
These behaviours exhibited at these age range of 13 to 19 are also usually labelled as rebellious. It seems once we grow into adulthood, we forget what it felt like to be a teenager, what we wanted others to know especially our parents, the way they should relate with us and treat us. Most parents find their kids defiant as teenagers.
They are no longer kids and would like you as a parent to treat their views as important and no speaking in hush tones or hiding things from them. Trust their judgement in making the right decisions especially who they decide to make friends with.
Approving your teenager when they do what is/was expected not only gives them self confidence but makes them work harder to always get your approval. Everyone loves their morale boosted once in a while. Most teenagers will never change from their bad habits if you're a parent who derives pleasure in complaining about all the faults you find in them. Remember, no one enjoys being made to feel useless. Even though they don't tell you this, silently, you're the first person closest to them which they want approval from.
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| IMAGE CREDIT: WIKIPEDIA.ORG |
At this age rangeof 13 to 19, most teenagers feel pressured by their parents and by the society at large who try to mold them to behave in a certain way tagged 'responsible'. Seeming abnormal to these young adults, they will most likely behave contrary to the society's expectations because they have a mind of their own whose reasoning needs to be heard. They crave to make their views heard and with importance attached to it, because they are no longer kids.
These behaviours exhibited at these age range of 13 to 19 are also usually labelled as rebellious. It seems once we grow into adulthood, we forget what it felt like to be a teenager, what we wanted others to know especially our parents, the way they should relate with us and treat us. Most parents find their kids defiant as teenagers.
What Every Teenager Expects From Their Parents
1. To be treated maturedly:
They are no longer kids and would like you as a parent to treat their views as important and no speaking in hush tones or hiding things from them. Trust their judgement in making the right decisions especially who they decide to make friends with.
You
should know your teenagers are no longer kids and to be treated
maturedly here involves giving them some privacy. You shouldnt always
impose on them in trying to know every details about what they do or
where they've been. They expect a certain degree of freedom.
2. Approval instead of complains:
Approving your teenager when they do what is/was expected not only gives them self confidence but makes them work harder to always get your approval. Everyone loves their morale boosted once in a while. Most teenagers will never change from their bad habits if you're a parent who derives pleasure in complaining about all the faults you find in them. Remember, no one enjoys being made to feel useless. Even though they don't tell you this, silently, you're the first person closest to them which they want approval from.
Since
you keep on complaining, they think you
don't expect anything better from them, and so act in a nonchalant and
lackadaisical manner. In the end they grow up to be adults who care
little about the way they treat others or their feelings, if the closest person to them thinks
they're good for nothing. We end up having a society who can hurt
others without a flinch. Next
time your child does something you're proud of, surprise him/her with a
gift no matter how small it is. Even a compliment can go a long way in
preparing him or her to be a better person as an adult.
3. Comparing them with others:
No
one wants to or enjoys hearing others are better than them. As a
parent, even if your motive is to motivate your teenager to do or act
better, comparing them with others is one thing you shouldn't do. By
comparing the progress of their colleagues, friends or siblings with
theirs only brings low self esteem and worse, can cause depression in
teenagers.
If
your motive for comparing them with their peers or siblings is to make
them feel ashamed of their waywardness or failures, they'll unknowingly
have it at the back of their mind that others are better than them
thereby bring about low self esteem. To
help your teen that is performing badly, you can give them support by
encouraging them even when they're failing , that if they put more
effort, they can be as good as their friends and even better.
4. Respect their decision or judgement:
Your
teenagers have a mind of their own and disagreement could arise when
you try to impose your views and beliefs on them. They want to be heard and
not feel supressed. In the long run, this will help them stand up to
their peers in what they believe is right.
How
then do you help a derailing teenager that has the wrong perspective or views about life you
may ask, by sharing your views with them and getting to hear theirs.
This way, you get to know why he/she behaved they way they did, and
the things you do that they dislike or are not comfortable with. This
can serve as a way to relate with your teenager.
5. Don't give up on them:
Irrespective
of how you may think your child feels or acts towards you, they desire
and hope that you don't give up on them. Their friends, siblings, or any
other person may give up on them based on how they look or behave, but
as a parent, you should never habor the thought of giving up in helping
your teenager become a better person in life. You should not give them a
reason to believe you're just putting up with them because your'e obligated to do so a parent or you're exhausted with them.
Let your teenagers know how proud you are of them.
Conclusion:
The
listed above are some of what most teenager wishes their parents knew.
The above can be summarized by everyone's desire to be heard and be set
free. Use these tips to maintain a healthy reltiaonship with your kids
and a happy home.
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